Good Morning Beloved Dreamers,
It is the morning after Christmas, and I am in my pink robe that says rosy all day. I am wearing a pearl necklace that compliments my neck perfectly. The chair I am sitting on is covered with my favorite white blanket; My writing station is all set up right next to the Christmas tree. I have George Straight playing in the background, and the ambiance is just right. Earlier I had two bottles of water and some dark chocolate, as I was doing that I thought about writing to you today.
I hope that you got all your heart desired on Christmas Day and that you woke up feeling like the princess that you are. As I scrolled through Facebook yesterday, I saw countless engagements, no surprise to me, of course, as I see the same thing on Valentine’s day as well. Which I should say is the inspiration for today’s blog. What makes a man fall in love with a woman. What differentiates the women men sleep around with from the women they fall in love with and get married to.
As a young woman growing up, I desired much to be the leader and to be in charge of the relationship. My role models were strong, intelligent, talented, attractive, and poised women. I admired women with power and those who were in some position of authority. Looking back, I realize that this admiration came from the fact that women like this surrounded me — those women who can do bad all by themselves. The sad part about all this, however, was that most of those women I admired were single and alone. Lonely, for the most part, but too strong to even admit it. Their level of masculinity didn’t inspire men to fall in love with them, much less marry them.
As I got older, I asked myself, what makes men fall in love with some women and not others? Well, I have the answer to that question today. And don’t be winded when I tell you that being attractive has little to nothing to do with it. As women, if we should be honest most times when we go out of our way to look beautiful, we aren’t doing it for men. We do because we want to look better than other females. We do it because we want to be the most attractive one in the group or the company. It’s all about competition and being the very best because we want to be the most beautiful, the sexiest and the most attractive.
And while all those things are good, they will not inspire a man to fall in love with you. The facts prove it to us every day. Some of the most beautiful women in the world are treated like doormats. Some of the most attractive women in the world can’t even get a husband. Some of the most intelligent and strong women can’t even get a man to take them to a fancy restaurant or even open a car door for them. Yet some of the women we deemed as not so attractive, intelligent, or beautiful have the good man and are happily married.
THREE DISTINCT REASON THAT CAUSES A MAN TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN
When a man falls in love with a woman, there are three distinct traits that the woman exhibits, whether on a conscious or subconscious level. It’s like the law of gravity and the law of attraction, it works every time, whether we are aware of it or not. And a man will fall in love with a woman with these three characteristics. Regardless of how attractive she is, where she is from, her age, her education level, or her socio-economic background.
Men don’t choose who they fall in love with, that is because men fall in love from the subconscious level. So for him to fall in love with you, you have to be displaying or portraying these three energies from the subconscious domain. To make it simple, you can’t just act out these three things that I am going to tell you. You can’t pretend like you have them and make them work for you. No ladies, you can’t beat the system. “YOU HAVE TO ALLOW THEM TO BECOME A PART OF YOUR BEING.” YOU HAVE BECOME AND ALLOW THEM TO BECOME A PART OF YOU. “
There are biological and chemical reactions inside men that allow them to have an emotional euphoria when they are in love. Now for him to go through that emotional euphoria and that biological experience of falling in love, you as a woman must exhibit all three of these traits. And please note when I say this, none is more important than the other you need all three!
HIERARCHY — BECOME A HIGH-VALUE WOMAN
Animals are programmed with hierarchy in mind; that is why the Lion is the king of the jungle. And even in the animal kingdom, female animals will mate with the male animal that is more dominant, faster, and stronger. And the male animal will seek out female animals that will produce good offspring. Just like it is in the animal kingdom, the same applies to us, we always have this ladder of hierarchy in our subconscious mind, and it is a part of our being.
Beloved Dreamers, you have to become a woman of high value, and when a man begins the process of getting to know you, he will see that you are a woman of high value. You have to prove to him that you are a woman of high value. When he doesn’t see this in you, the biological and the chemical process required to inspire him to fall in love with you won’t come into motion. A man will not fall in love with a low-value woman. He will give her attention because he wants sex or because he finds her attractive, but he won’t marry her. He will pursue her because he thinks it’s easy to gratify his sexual desires. And oftentimes because the woman doesn’t know her worth the man will frequently use her, abuse her and take advantage of her.
A guy told me that he was seeing this woman, who boasts day in and day out about being a woman of high value. She spoke about how wealthy her family was and how much better his life would be if he should choose her. The man didn’t want her, but she kept on pestering him to spend time with her. As an outsider looking in, I can tell you first hand she wasn’t of high value; otherwise, she wouldn’t try to convince him of her worth. It sounds to me like she was more of a narcissist than a virtuous woman.
Show up as a woman of high value, and you are much closer to being in love with a good man and having the life and family that you desire. But don’t be confused, being of high-value alone won’t cut it. That is the reason why most of the women I admired were single. They were of high value, but they lacked the other two traits. Now, if you want to learn how to become a high-value woman, you can always sign up to become apart of my Phenomenal Woman Academy for $25 monthly or book a One on One Life Coaching session with me.
FEMININITY — BECOME A FEMININE WOMAN
I love this one, and as I come closer to hitting the big thirty, it is a topic I am coming to appreciate even more. It’s like I woke up one morning and stepped into my femininity. Being feminine is vitally essential to a man falling in love with you. A man is easily attracted on a sexual level to a woman who is not feminine, but he could never love her. As women, we need to understand the difference. Sexuality in a woman can stimulate lust, but it doesn’t arose love. Even if a woman is not attractive, she can still boost the desire of passion due to the very fact that she is a woman. But unless she is feminine, she will not stimulate or encourage love.
Now please don’t come at me by saying this is not true, allow me to explain a bit more. True femininity is way more than dressing up in pink dress, pink or red lipstick, wearing makeup, and having a high pitch voice. Some of the most feminine women in this world don’t even wear makeup or have a high pitch voice. Some of them talk very low. True femininity is a nurturing, kind, and caring spirit. It is empathy, cheerfulness, childlike innocence, and charm. True femininity is tender and trusting, and if coupled with the fact that you are a little bubbly, his inspiration to fall in love with you will increase even more. The reason for that is because a man loves a woman who is attractively lively and a little animated.
So in closing, ladies, a man falls in love with a woman who has natural feminine qualities. And that is the inner person you are in your heart. No man falls in love with a woman who is hardhearted, mean spirited, and callous. Become a more feminine woman who is cheerful, nurturing, and caring, and you will be a step closer to having a man fall in love with you and ultimately getting married to you.
VULNERABILITY: BECOME A WOMAN WHO OPENS UP IN SPITE OF FEAR
Beloved Dreamers, this is a huge one, but none the less no more important than the other two. Vulnerability in women is one of the reasons why men fall in love with some women and not others. I know this great woman of high value; she is talented and smart, but every relationship she goes into has the same outcome. The men are not willing to help her. It starts okay, but they run away to other women. Some people will say that she is just picking the wrong men, but I beg to differ. These men leave her and end up with other women that they are willing to help and jump over hills and valleys to please.
Do you want me to tell you this woman’s problem? She is not vulnerable. She is not able to connect deeply with her own emotions so that a man can feel her, connect with her, and be inspired to take care of her. Whenever her friend’s partner does something for them, she is jealous and lament and asks why not her? I explain to her, but she doesn’t listen, and since she is not my client, I am not able to help her heal and get rid of what is causing this emotional block in her subconscious.
The sad reality is that this woman will continue to have the same experience and outcomes in her relationships. Things will only get better when she is willing to be vulnerable and take the mask off. Men can’t fall in love when we have a mask on. They can’t fall in love with our outer shell. They fall in love with our hearts. For a man to fall in love with us, we have to be fully open to our emotions. When a man senses this, his emotional and biological programming inspires him to fall in love with us.
When we are not vulnerable, we have a veil that says we don’t need a man. We can do it all by ourselves. And while we have to do it by ourselves in some situations, it shouldn’t be to the point where we have to abandon our femininity. There is a war on womanhood going on in the world today. Its as though women are being programmed by society to become hunters, aggressors, and masculine.
Now Ladies, hear me out, when we become masculine, and our vulnerability is no longer there, we are merely telling a man that we don’t need him or want him. When our vulnerability is not there, what is a man suppose to take care of? What would be his emotional reason that is programmed in his biology to take care of you? How will he feel like a man?
To answer your question, he won’t feel like a man. He will feel like you are the man, and he will find himself a woman who wants and need him, and he will fall in love with her.
LET THIS SINK IN FOR A FEW MINUTES
When there are no compelling reasons for a man to stay in a relationship, he will walk out. Men are not emotional like us. They are attracted to what they see, but reasons make them fall in love and stay. Vulnerability is an invitation for a man to take care of you and devote himself to you. It compels him to offer you his presence. Vulnerability in women is God’s gift to men. It is what inspires them to protect us and lead. And when they are the head, It makes them feel alive, respected, and powerful. It makes them feel like they run the town. Leadership gives men purpose, when we as women become the dominant one we take that away from them. When we take that away from them they are not stimulated to fall in love with us.
When we as women can feel and express our emotions, it makes a man wants to commit to us. The woman I mentioned earlier couldn’t get a man to help her out in any way because her mask said, “ I am masculine and strong, and I don’t need you.” The men read that as a sign to walk away and find a vulnerable woman, one that will make him feel like a dominant man.
VULNERABILITY IS NOT WEAKNESS
Most of us women were thought that vulnerability is weakness, but that is false. It’s not true. It takes strength to open up yourself and feel your own emotions. It takes strength to connect with a man and feel his feelings. Emotional nakedness requires courage. It takes courage to take off the mask that says I can do it all by myself. The woman I mentioned above wasn’t strong, she was weak and hurting, and she didn’t have the muscle to take the disguise off. Vulnerability is not weakness. It is the real power and force of every feminine woman.
The next lie we women tell ourselves is that vulnerability is neediness, but real vulnerability is not neediness. Neediness is a trait of a low-value woman; a needy woman expects the presence of a man. His proximity gives her worth. Real vulnerability, however, is an expression of high value. Vulnerability values the man himself; it values who the man his. It values his heart and his role as a man. Vulnerability is about connecting with the man on an emotional and spiritual level. And inspiring the biological and chemical engineering of that man motivates him to show up for you and to give you his presence. What I am teaching you here is science, and it is spiritually, it is how God designed it. To make it much easier for you to understand, vulnerability is about inspiring, motivating, and stimulating a man with the reason to stay; at the end of the day, he offers his presence, protection, and care.
So, Ladies, I need to get up from around this laptop, hydrate, and do my work out for the day. If you want a man to fall in love with you, don’t forget these three traits.
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Ann-Marie Graham -Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author