After my first marriage ended in divorce I vowed never to walk down the isle again. I took off my wedding ring and sold it to the local pawn store. I burnt my wedding dress and every single picture of my ex and I together but no matter how I tried I couldn't burnt the lessons my first marriage taught me. So I have learnt a few things from being married once and I hope that you will apply them to your first marriage so as to not end up in a divorce.
1) My first marriage taught me that God must be the center of my life before he can become the center of my relationship. I learnt this the hard way because even though I said God was my everything my actions proved otherwise. My actions proved otherwise in that I did not wait on God to have sex. Sure enough God can forgive but it's always best to wait. Waiting until marriage to have sex is so beneficial for you, your relationship with God and even your future husband or wife. So back to the main point God has to be your everything because if you are finding it hard to submit to God you will find it very hard to submit to your spouse.
2) My first marriage taught me submission and humility. The truth of the matter is I am a natural born leader, I have great leadership qualities but in a marriage a woman have to learn to submit some of her great idea's to God if her husband doesn't catch on to them immediately. If you are a woman and you love to lead you have to understand that your husband is the head of the family even if you are making more money. No man can resit a woman that is humble and the fact that you are his wife will make him love you even more.
3) Being married once helps you to choose more wisely the second time around. The truth is you actually get to know yourself more. You know what you want and don't want in a spouse. You approach a second marriage with more wisdom and less emotions. This is not to say that you don't have those butterfly feelings but you are more concerned with the foundation rather than the color of the house. The truth is people who go through a divorce knows the effects of it and don't want to walk that path again.
4) Being married once and divorced has really helped me to know myself better. I know my values and standards and I am also sensitive to my preferences. Knowing who I am has a person will definitely help me to communicate better in my next marriage.
5) After going through a first marriage and a divorce and a very long period of singleness I will learn how to appreciate my second husband more. I don't know if any of you have ever wanted something so bad and when you finally got it it's like a dream come through. Well my second husband will be God's glorious gift to me, one that I will treasure forever.
6) My first marriage has taught me to be more committed. I will be more committed in the sense that I wont run away from our challenges. Marriage is all about learning to grow together and honoring your wedding vows in sickness or in health, in riches or in wealth till death do us part.
7) My first marriage taught me that it's not my job to change my husband. I can only pray for him and encourage him.
8)My first marriage has taught me to be my husband best friend and to never discuss him with my friends in a negative way but rather to build him up. To speak to the King in him instead of the boy in him.
9) My first marriage has taught me how to make my husband happy, to make sure I minister to him emotionally, spiritually, physically and mentally.
I can't say that I learnt these lessons under the best circumstance but I am eternally grateful and forever thankful.