Hello Beloved Dreamers,
The world is facing a significant pandemic, heads of government and health officials are deeply concerned by the alarming levels of spread and severity of the outbreak. Countries all over are being encouraged to detect, test, treat, isolate, trace, and mobilize their people in response.
The world is in panic, but I would like to personally take the time to encourage the women who read my blog to take the necessary precautions and stay in faith. Do not give in to fear, but do all that is necessary to protect your family.
My thoughts and prayers are with you all. I am home today, but I am not feeling 100 percent great, but don't worry, it's just the regular seasonal allergy along with an Acid Reflux flare up from some very delicious Pizza. You know those kinds of Pizza with fragile crust, lots of sauce and covered with pepperoni and cheese. I guess that's the price you pay for loving your stomach.
Anyhow on a more serious note, life had me thinking about the Proverbs 31 women today and how difficult it is to measure up to her. After all, I doubt she would stuff her mouth with Pizza even when she isn't feeling well. She is a model woman, and no doubt, in this time of mandatory quarantine, she would have a nice hot meal on the table for her family.
I am sure I am not the only one who is in a love/ hate relationship with the Proverbs 31 Woman. As women in this modern world, it's like we can't measure up to her no matter what we do. I did some research on her with the hopes that I will become a little more like her. And to my surprise, I discovered something quite shocking. The Proverbs 31 Woman doesn't exist; she isn't real. She is just an idea!!
That took the weight off my shoulder, well, not quite. The truth of the matter is this; when we try to hold ourselves to the standard of The Proverbs 31 Woman, we will always fall short. She is merely there to inspire and encourage us to become better women. She was never a real woman doing all those things mentioned in the scripture at the same time. For heaven's sake, with my physical and emotional makeup, I know I couldn't do all the work she does, and on top of that, be the first one to wake up in the morning. If I were to do all that work, I would have to sleep in until noon to recuperate.
But with honesty and all fun and jokes aside, the Idea of The Proverbs 31 woman was never an ideal about a new bride but rather about a well-seasoned wife. So many times, we as women sit down and lament that we aren't where we want to be in life right now. We grieve when we don't talk to our husbands with respect. We regret it when we discipline the children a little bit too harsh. We cry and complain because we weren't smart enough to stock up on toilet paper this month, and now our family doesn't have anything to wipe their bum. Single women go to bed crying at night, praying to God, and wondering if they will ever find a good man. The list goes on and on.
We feel defeated because we don't measure up to the Proverbs 31 woman, but the truth is this. The Proverbs 31 woman is all about becoming. We are all growing into her, becoming her, but it won't happen overnight. It's going to take time and a great deal of effort.
The one piece of advice I would like to leave you with today is to grow and mature in faith. As we mature in our walk with God, we will develop more and more fruits of the spirit. Developing these virtues is how we become a Proverbs 31 Woman. So continue to Love God, your husband, and your children. Let's change the world, one family, at a time.
Proverbs 31:26 When she speaks, her words are wise, and she gives instructions with kindness.
The above scripture is a biblical tip I want to leave with you today. It was first given to me by an older woman in the church; she wanted me to season my words with wisdom instead of lashing out in anger. It is a timely reminder to speak with understanding and always grace your words with kindness.
Now I know that hand sanitizer is short. Below you will find the ingredients needed to make your own at home. I wish I could tell you how to make toilet paper, but unfortunately, I don't have the answer to that one.
Homemade Hand Sanitizer Recipe
1/3 cup of aloe vera gel
2/3 cup 99% rubbing alcohol*
8-10 drops of essential oil, optional (such as vanilla, lavender, grapefruit, peppermint, etc.)
Mix ingredients. Put a funnel in the opening of the bottle and pour the mixed ingredients into it.
*If you can't find 99% rubbing alcohol just use less aloe for a thinner hand sanitizer and put in a spray bottle.
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Hello Beloved Dreamers,
Regardless of your color, we are all created in the image of God. We are all God's children, and we are all created equal. Never apologize for your blackness or your whiteness. Don't let anyone strip you of your self-esteem. Rediscover who you are and pursue purpose.
Become a True Leader
Become A Man/ Woman of Knowledge and Wisdom.
Be Brave and Courageous, and never apologize for who you are.
When you have knowledge of yourself, you will become a master of your own ship.
BELIEVE IN YOUR OWN WORTH AND NEVER APOLOGIZE FOR WHO YOU ARE.
YOUR LIFE HAS ULTIMATE SIGNIFICANCE
Good Morning Beloved Dreamers,
It is the morning after Christmas, and I am in my pink robe that says rosy all day. I am wearing a pearl necklace that compliments my neck perfectly. The chair I am sitting on is covered with my favorite white blanket; My writing station is all set up right next to the Christmas tree. I have George Straight playing in the background, and the ambiance is just right. Earlier I had two bottles of water and some dark chocolate, as I was doing that I thought about writing to you today.
I hope that you got all your heart desired on Christmas Day and that you woke up feeling like the princess that you are. As I scrolled through Facebook yesterday, I saw countless engagements, no surprise to me, of course, as I see the same thing on Valentine's day as well. Which I should say is the inspiration for today's blog. What makes a man fall in love with a woman. What differentiates the women men sleep around with from the women they fall in love with and get married to.
As a young woman growing up, I desired much to be the leader and to be in charge of the relationship. My role models were strong, intelligent, talented, attractive, and poised women. I admired women with power and those who were in some position of authority. Looking back, I realize that this admiration came from the fact that women like this surrounded me — those women who can do bad all by themselves. The sad part about all this, however, was that most of those women I admired were single and alone. Lonely, for the most part, but too strong to even admit it. Their level of masculinity didn't inspire men to fall in love with them, much less marry them.
As I got older, I asked myself, what makes men fall in love with some women and not others? Well, I have the answer to that question today. And don't be winded when I tell you that being attractive has little to nothing to do with it. As women, if we should be honest most times when we go out of our way to look beautiful, we aren't doing it for men. We do because we want to look better than other females. We do it because we want to be the most attractive one in the group or the company. It's all about competition and being the very best because we want to be the most beautiful, the sexiest and the most attractive.
And while all those things are good, they will not inspire a man to fall in love with you. The facts prove it to us every day. Some of the most beautiful women in the world are treated like doormats. Some of the most attractive women in the world can't even get a husband. Some of the most intelligent and strong women can't even get a man to take them to a fancy restaurant or even open a car door for them. Yet some of the women we deemed as not so attractive, intelligent, or beautiful have the good man and are happily married.
THREE DISTINCT REASON THAT CAUSES A MAN TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A WOMAN
When a man falls in love with a woman, there are three distinct traits that the woman exhibits, whether on a conscious or subconscious level. It's like the law of gravity and the law of attraction, it works every time, whether we are aware of it or not. And a man will fall in love with a woman with these three characteristics. Regardless of how attractive she is, where she is from, her age, her education level, or her socio-economic background.
Men don't choose who they fall in love with, that is because men fall in love from the subconscious level. So for him to fall in love with you, you have to be displaying or portraying these three energies from the subconscious domain. To make it simple, you can't just act out these three things that I am going to tell you. You can't pretend like you have them and make them work for you. No ladies, you can't beat the system. "YOU HAVE TO ALLOW THEM TO BECOME A PART OF YOUR BEING." YOU HAVE BECOME AND ALLOW THEM TO BECOME A PART OF YOU. "
There are biological and chemical reactions inside men that allow them to have an emotional euphoria when they are in love. Now for him to go through that emotional euphoria and that biological experience of falling in love, you as a woman must exhibit all three of these traits. And please note when I say this, none is more important than the other. You need all three!
HIERARCHY - BECOME A HIGH-VALUE WOMAN
Animals are programmed with hierarchy in mind; that is why the Lion is the king of the jungle. And even in the animal kingdom, female animals will mate with the male animal that is more dominant, faster, and stronger. And the male animal will seek out female animals that will produce good offspring. Just like it is in the animal kingdom, the same applies to us, we always have this ladder of hierarchy in our subconscious mind, and it is a part of our being.
Beloved Dreamers, you have to become a woman of high value, and when a man begins the process of getting to know you, he will see that you are a woman of high value. You have to prove to him that you are a woman of high value. When he doesn't see this in you, the biological and the chemical process required to inspire him to fall in love with you won't come into motion. A man will not fall in love with a low-value woman. He will give her attention because he wants sex or because he finds her attractive, but he won't marry her. He will pursue her because he thinks it's easy to gratify his sexual desires. And oftentimes because the woman doesn't know her worth the man will frequently use her, abuse her and take advantage of her.
A guy told me that he was seeing this woman, who boasts day in and day out about being a woman of high value. She spoke about how wealthy her family was and how much better his life would be if he should choose her. The man didn't want her, but she kept on pestering him to spend time with her. As an outsider looking in, I can tell you first hand she wasn't of high value; otherwise, she wouldn't try to convince him of her worth. It sounds to me like she was more of a narcissist than a virtuous woman.
Show up as a woman of high value, and you are much closer to being in love with a good man and having the life and family that you desire. But don't be confused, being of high-value alone won't cut it. That is the reason why most of the women I admired were single. They were of high value, but they lacked the other two traits. Now, if you want to learn how to become a high-value woman, you can always sign up to become apart of my Phenomenal Woman Academy for $25 monthly or book a One on One Life Coaching session with me.
FEMININITY - BECOME A FEMININE WOMAN
I love this one, and as I come closer to hitting the big thirty, it is a topic I am coming to appreciate even more. It's like I woke up one morning and stepped into my femininity. Being feminine is vitally essential to a man falling in love with you. A man is easily attracted on a sexual level to a woman who is not feminine, but he could never love her. As women, we need to understand the difference. Sexuality in a woman can stimulate lust, but it doesn't arose love. Even if a woman is not attractive, she can still boost the desire of passion due to the very fact that she is a woman. But unless she is feminine, she will not stimulate or encourage love.
Now please don't come at me by saying this is not true, allow me to explain a bit more. True femininity is way more than dressing up in pink dress, pink or red lipstick, wearing makeup, and having a high pitch voice. Some of the most feminine women in this world don't even wear makeup or have a high pitch voice. Some of them talk very low. True femininity is a nurturing, kind, and caring spirit. It is empathy, cheerfulness, childlike innocence, and charm. True femininity is tender and trusting, and if coupled with the fact that you are a little bubbly, his inspiration to fall in love with you will increase even more. The reason for that is because a man loves a woman who is attractively lively and a little animated.
So in closing, ladies, a man falls in love with a woman who has natural feminine qualities. And that is the inner person you are in your heart. No man falls in love with a woman who is hardhearted, mean spirited, and callous. Become a more feminine woman who is cheerful, nurturing, and caring, and you will be a step closer to having a man fall in love with you and ultimately getting married to you.
VULNERABILITY: BECOME A WOMAN WHO OPENS UP IN SPITE OF FEAR
Beloved Dreamers, this is a huge one, but none the less no more important than the other two. Vulnerability in women is one of the reasons why men fall in love with some women and not others. I know this great woman of high value; she is talented and smart, but every relationship she goes into has the same outcome. The men are not willing to help her. It starts okay, but they run away to other women. Some people will say that she is just picking the wrong men, but I beg to differ. These men leave her and end up with other women that they are willing to help and jump over hills and valleys to please.
Do you want me to tell you this woman's problem? She is not vulnerable. She is not able to connect deeply with her own emotions so that a man can feel her, connect with her, and be inspired to take care of her. Whenever her friend's partner does something for them, she is jealous and lament and asks why not her? I explain to her, but she doesn't listen, and since she is not my client, I am not able to help her heal and get rid of what is causing this emotional block in her subconscious.
The sad reality is that this woman will continue to have the same experience and outcomes in her relationships. Things will only get better when she is willing to be vulnerable and take the mask off. Men can't fall in love when we have a mask on. They can't fall in love with our outer shell. They fall in love with our hearts. For a man to fall in love with us, we have to be fully open to our emotions. When a man senses this, his emotional and biological programming inspires him to fall in love with us.
When we are not vulnerable, we have a veil that says we don't need a man. We can do it all by ourselves. And while we have to do it by ourselves in some situations, it shouldn't be to the point where we have to abandon our femininity. There is a war on womanhood going on in the world today. Its as though women are being programmed by society to become hunters, aggressors, and masculine.
Now Ladies, hear me out, when we become masculine, and our vulnerability is no longer there, we are merely telling a man that we don't need him or want him. When our vulnerability is not there, what is a man suppose to take care of? What would be his emotional reason that is programmed in his biology to take care of you? How will he feel like a man?
To answer your question, he won't feel like a man. He will feel like you are the man, and he will find himself a woman who wants and need him, and he will fall in love with her.
LET THIS SINK IN FOR A FEW MINUTES
When there are no compelling reasons for a man to stay in a relationship, he will walk out. Men are not emotional like us. They are attracted to what they see, but reasons make them fall in love and stay. Vulnerability is an invitation for a man to take care of you and devote himself to you. It compels him to offer you his presence. Vulnerability in women is God's gift to men. It is what inspires them to protect us and lead. And when they are the head, It makes them feel alive, respected, and powerful. It makes them feel like they run the town. Leadership gives men purpose, when we as women become the dominant one we take that away from them. When we take that away from them they are not stimulated to fall in love with us.
When we as women can feel and express our emotions, it makes a man wants to commit to us. The woman I mentioned earlier couldn't get a man to help her out in any way because her mask said, " I am masculine and strong, and I don't need you." The men read that as a sign to walk away and find a vulnerable woman, one that will make him feel like a dominant man.
VULNERABILITY IS NOT WEAKNESS
Most of us women were thought that vulnerability is weakness, but that is false. It's not true. It takes strength to open up yourself and feel your own emotions. It takes strength to connect with a man and feel his feelings. Emotional nakedness requires courage. It takes courage to take off the mask that says I can do it all by myself. The woman I mentioned above wasn't strong, she was weak and hurting, and she didn't have the muscle to take the disguise off. Vulnerability is not weakness. It is the real power and force of every feminine woman.
The next lie we women tell ourselves is that vulnerability is neediness, but real vulnerability is not neediness. Neediness is a trait of a low-value woman; a needy woman expects the presence of a man. His proximity gives her worth. Real vulnerability, however, is an expression of high value. Vulnerability values the man himself; it values who the man his. It values his heart and his role as a man. Vulnerability is about connecting with the man on an emotional and spiritual level. And inspiring the biological and chemical engineering of that man motivates him to show up for you and to give you his presence. What I am teaching you here is science, and it is spiritually, it is how God designed it. To make it much easier for you to understand, vulnerability is about inspiring, motivating, and stimulating a man with the reason to stay; at the end of the day, he offers his presence, protection, and care.
So, Ladies, I need to get up from around this laptop, hydrate, and do my work out for the day. If you want a man to fall in love with you, don't forget these three traits.
Follow these three principles, and they will take you a long way in being successful in the world of love and marriage.
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Ann-Marie Graham -Life Coach, Motivational Speaker, Author
Love, Joy, and Peace Be Yours
Every woman can go from ordinary to Phenomenal.
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Dear Ladies, I have noticed a recent trend among our generation, almost every girl wants to become an internet model. They believe that if they dress a certain way or act a certain way, it will land them the man of their dreams. Behaving and acting in a certain way will land you a man to sleep with, but it won't guarantee you a husband.
Beloved Dreamers with all that being said, I am about to share some painful truth with you. You may not like hearing them, but they will benefit you in the end.
The best is yet to come!!!
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I was born in a one-room wooden structure in the serene countryside of Westmoreland, Jamaica. On November 9th, 1990, I breathe my first breath into a family of dysfunction and a generation crippled by limiting beliefs. My father was never around to show me how a man is supposed to treat a woman. My mother couldn't teach me how to become a phenomenal woman because she was programmed to being a strong black woman.
As a child growing up, I suffered from low self-esteem. Still, very few people would realize as I was a professional at hiding behind a mask called "A Smile." My childhood was crippled by verbal, emotional, and sometimes physical abuse. Ill health became a crotch, I enjoyed it when I was sick because I thought I would somehow get a little affection, some words of affirmation which I craved so much but my desire was never satisfied.
At eighteen years old, I got married to the first man that told me he loves me and gave me some affection. His Words to me were like the oasis in the desert. But my minute of happiness was cut short when he told me three months into our marriage that he didn't love me. " I remember the first day I saw you, there was this light on you and I knew I had to marry you. I marry you for the light but Ann-Marie I do not love you, he said"
Those words cut like a knife, but I did try to stay and make my marriage work. But ever so often, when I was alone, I would dream and see myself as a woman who is loved and who gives love unconditionally. I would see this woman in me. I would see myself as a woman who inspires and touch other girls and women to pursue their purpose and become phenomenal.
Then one night, he told me that we aren't right for each other. He told me how broken I was and mocked my childhood. I remember telling him that I know I am broken, but I want a man who was willing to soothe my pain and kiss my scars. And though I didn't say anything further to him that night, I promised myself that the next time he told me he didn't love me and didn't want to be with me, I would respect myself enough to walk away.
March of 2009, just five months after marriage, I packed my bags and kissed heartbreak goodbye.
It wasn't easy after kissing heartbreak goodbye; the struggle got even more real. Anxiety was my daily companion ever since the tender age of fourteen, but when I walked out of that marriage, depression became a permanent tenant. On a few different occasions, she would bring along her cousin's suicidal thoughts and pessimism, unwelcomed guests in my heart. Not to mention the loneliness of not having a support unit, coupled with the dire financial situation, poverty, and worst of all, a lack of opportunity.
Nothing caused me more considerable distress than being an A Player living a B life. I wanted the opportunity of self-expression, but I got none until...
I Found God; I found people who do the same work that I do now, and they helped me to learn the secret of God, the mystery of me, and the Language of the world.
My childhood and early life was nothing to be celebrated. It was instead something to heal from. Today I am not only healed, but I am healing others. I tapped into my inherent phenomenal nature and cultivated the gifts and talents given to me by God.
I once asked The Purpose Giver the reason for my existence, and His gentle, still small voice said, " Ann-Marie, your purpose is to help people find their purpose." I see myself as a farmer who heals. I don't cultivate crops; I cultivate people. I am an Inner Gardener. I build, and I plant the positive, and I root up, pull down, and tear down the negative. I am A Prophetess Ordained By God for such a time as this.
Along my journey, I have discovered two things; all women are born extraordinary and phenomenal; however, our family, our culture, the media, and society sometimes program us to be ordinary. The second thing I have learned is that we all can cultivate the qualities that will make us unforgettable.
I am a woman of unlimited potential, who by choice, is creating a life by design through faith in God, focus, and a commitment to become the best version of myself. I want to go down in history as the woman who rose from the dust to purpose, the woman who rises from the ashes to become a diamond, a mother of this generation, simply because she was born To Be. I am Ann-Marie Graham, a phenomenal, phenomenal woman that's me.
And Beloved Woman I Want The Same For You!!
That Is The Reason Why Spirit Led Me to Create Up From The Dust To A Life Of Purpose As Well As The Phenomenal Woman Academy!!